The whole dating scene is tough enough as it is. We wonder if he's interested in me? Should I ask him for his number? We've gone on a date, but when is it OK to suggest hanging out again?
As tricky as it might be to navigate this part of our lives, we make it more complicated on ourselves. How do we do this? Well, we girls tend to insist on labeling things. No, not just putting a label to some things. Labeling everything.
So while we're considering our status with Mr. Lacrosse Player, we're wondering if maybe we should just go out one one date to test the waters with Mr. Suave Businessman because, hey, Lacrosse boy and I aren't technically "in a relationship" yet, right? Or maybe it's a question of whether you're "seeing someone" versus "dating" versus "in a relationship." What do each of these phrases and words means exactly? And what differentiates them?
Well it's so we can justify our current situation to outsiders, of course. We want to be able to tell our best friends that there's a new man in our life, but that we don't think it's serious enough to the point that we'd call it "a relationship." We also want to experience the thrill of telling an ex that we're not longer single and that we're in fact currently "seeing someone."
Does anyone really know what "seeing someone" means? And who's to say that we're seeing someone before we're dating, or that we're in a relationship after we're officially dating that dude who we met after a sweaty bump-in at the gym?
This topic seems to keep coming up over and over again in conversation with both my closest guy and girl friends. Yet as often as this idea surfaces, no one seems to have come to any conclusions. The one thing that we have figured out, however, is these labels definitely mean something. It's just what that something is that we really don't know.
It seems labeling what we have with someone as a relationship boosts both our confidence and level of happiness. Not only do we at least believe that we belong to that person and they belong to only us, we also feel secure in thinking that we're protecting our health, that our partners are not partnered with anyone else. Here we're addressing a legitimate and real concern, and although the label fails to prevent most people from cheating, it somehow gives a tiny reason to consider not to. The word relationship taps us on the shoulder like our fairy godmother, reminding us that we've committed ourself to something or, in this case, someone.
Anyway, I think that this is a unique post in that I'm not writing with any answers or any opinions. Imagine that-- for once in my life, I'm lacking a definitive opinion! This is where I want to hear from YOU. What do you think? What do these words mean to you? And is it important to differentiate between different phases in a relationship or should we just let things go on their own timeline?
Tell me what you think. I want to hear. We all do.
XOXOX,
R.
