The Hardest Part of Life After College: Eating?!?

Life after college can be an adjustment, that's for sure. We leave that campus that we've come to know and love-- beer cans, puke piles, libraries and all-- and get shoved into that adult life that most of us really don't want to face. But real life is a reality, and a harsh one sometimes.

When we graduate and eventually get jobs and apartments, we know things have changed in our lives. Maybe it's that mommy and daddy are no longer supporting us financially or that we finally have to learn how to scrub a toilet for the first time. We're not used to having our friends a couple of miles away, nevermind across the country or even, in some instances, across the world. We all go our separate ways and the vast majority of us survive. Our parents and their parents made it on our own, so we can, too, right?

It takes time to establish ourselves and to "find our footing" as we venture out into the unknown. We often face challenges that we never really expected to confront. One of the biggest, it seems, for our generation? Money. Of course. That's the evil that plagues every generation, always has, and probably always will.

But the second biggest? Eating. OK, maybe it's not the second biggest, but it's a big one. I have no credibility on this front, I haven't read any data on the subjects, nothing. I'm just going by an incredibly unscientific poll of my friends... and considering some of their comments I heard in passing.

Anyway, you'd think it'd be a great relief to escape the dining hall. It's maybe even more exciting to never again enter that frathouse kitchen that-- c'mon, admit it-- should be marked as "unsanitary" and "hazardous to your health" by the health commission. I mean, I don't know about you, but I most certainly don't miss overcooked Easy Mac from the microwave or elastic band-like dark meat chicken (skin and bones and all) from the school cafeteria. (I'll admit, though, that I do miss my favorite cafeteria workers who really worked way harder than I ever will. Shout-out to Pat and Beverly and the lady with the missing teeth!)

So now that I've passed that phase in my life, I somehow live in an apartment with a beautifully updated kitchen. And what do I do with it when I'm there? I stare at it. It's not like it's so gorgeous that you'd find it on the cover of some home magazine, and I certainly don't have any art hanging up that's so marvelous I can't take my eyes off of it. Yet I stare. And keep staring. If you were to watch me you'd think I'm confusing this space with a page out of a Magic Eye book.

Alright, so maybe I'm exaggerating a teeny bit. Just a little though. I really have done more than turn on the faucet. Yep, I've turned on the faucet, managed to catch the water in ice cube trays and even put those trays in the freezer to--POOF-- make ice!

But really, I have cooked a dinner here and there, had a couple house parties that involved more than calling my favorite delivery guy, even experimented a little with some baking. But this whole cooking thing really remains an obstacle. I just can't seem to do it well-- or well enough to my liking-- and I certainly don't have the time to perfect it. It's always easier to call the local sushi place and order a couple of rolls than to pull a Julia Child and create a masterpiece from simple household ingredients.

Today, as I was legitimately contemplating what to make before dinner after I rush home from work but run out again to meet a friend for a movie date, I came across a great blog: In Good Taste, written by Maris Callahan, another twenty-something living in a major city. You can find it here: http://ingoodtasteblog.typepad.com/in_good_taste/. Maris began this endeavor in 2008, right before I was nearing the end of college yet before I knew that I'd soon have to actually make sure that I eat and do it in a semi-healthy way. It certainly seems like this girl has something figured out. That, or she knows how to photoshop a photo of food she whipped up to make it look extremely appealing. I think I'll believe that she does it all herself and it's all legitimate, though. :)

Here's how she explains her blog in her "About Me" section:


How many times have you looked into the fridge of a young, single man (okay, or woman) who works long hours outside of their home, to find nothing but a six-pack of beer, half-empty bottle of Pinot Grigio and leftovers from last night’s Chinese take-out?
I’ve seen my fair share.

My name is Maris Callahan and I began writing this blog in May 2008. It has since evolved into a resource for twenty-somethings, like me, who want to cook healthy meals with some indulgences. Whether you're starting your first post-college job, newly married or looking for fast, easy weeknight meals, my goal is to show you that anyone can cook, no matter how much time or experience they do (or don’t) have.


What do I take from discovering this site? I'm learning that, with a little help, we can tackle the parts of post-college life that might seem a little intimidating... to say the least. A few mouthwatering pictures, some easy recipes and a talented writer really might be able to make the difference. If she's got a recent grad who has this amazing talent of overcooking everything she pops in an oven can get excited, maybe we all can.


XOXO,
R.

The Truth Behind the Tough Girl

I've always maintained that girls are meaner and more manipulative than guys. I've had boys and men do some pretty horrible things to me over the years, but rarely are their actions as calculative, cunning and downright evil as those I've observed from girls.

I think that I'm starting to understand-- on the most basic of levels-- why girls are so cruel to guys sometimes. This explanation and analysis is barely touching the tip of the iceberg, that much I know. But observing a conversation between two college aged girls this morning on the way to work really made me stop and think. It went something along the lines of this:

Girl A: "I was SO mean to him for all of August. Like really cold to him. We'd be at parties and I'd just flat out ignore him. Sometimes I'd even make a nasty comment. Then at the end of the night he'd come up to me and ask if everything was alright and I'd just say "yep!" and not let him know anything about what I was thinking. I'm a terrible person," she admitted with some edgy sarcasm and a giggle. Her friend's giggle echoed hers.

Girl B: "No I totally understand. I've been doing that, too! I'm so mean to him!"

Girl A: "Yea, that's just how it is. I think though when I was being mean I subconsciously realized that I was scared-- scared to have a boyfriend. I always freak out when some guy says we should be boyfriend and girlfriend. That's when I get so mean and back off!"

This blip of conversation gives me some insight into a part of girl-world that I like to distance myself from. One reason girls treat guys, as these two described it, "like shit," is because they're scared. It's frightening to think that maybe someone really likes us for who we are, and moreso to think that the other person will ultimately decide they don't like us. If we're mean, of course we won't get the guy of our dreams anyway, but at least it will be our fault in a direct sense and not because the guy decided he didn't like our kind, compassionate side.

So immediately when I arrived at work I went online and started talking to one of my friends who works nearby. I started telling her about the conversation that I had just witnessed. How could these girls be so blatently rude to their love interests? I wondered. If they're that mean, I thought, no guy will be interested in them, nevermind keep them as a girlfriend!

Sure, I've read books like Why Men Love Bitches where the author encourages girls to be tough and, at times, difficult, holding their ground without being swayed in any other direction. Being tough is one thing-- not putting out too early on into a relationship, not allowing the guy to always choose a restauarant or decide on the plans for the night. None of those books, though, and I really mean not one,encourage bitchiness or catty behavior.

My friend, we'll call her H., provided me with a seemingly accurate and to the point response:

"Honestly," she explained, "I think if I wreck things ahead of time I can't get rejected... because I already took care of it." She proceeded to add that "it's one of those things I do when I think I stand a chance and I can't believe my luck."

After thinking about her comment-- one that, really, when I consider it, makes sense-- I wondered what this all means. What could I do with this information, not only to help her realize that she's beyond worthy of a doting boyfriend, but also to help the boys in my life learn how to deal with their Ice Queen crushes?

First, it's important to realize that some girls really are downright mean and have very few redeeming qualities. It's unfortunate but it's true and a fact of life: there are just some people out there who are exceptionally mean and nasty. There's no changing that.

Beyond that select group of people, though, there are plenty of good-hearted, caring women who put up that tough facade to protect what's really some ultimate form of kindness mixed with fear on the inside. The issue at hand, of course, becomes the challenge of differentiating between the mean bitchy girls and the nice bitchy girls. (Sounds absurd, right?) This might be a silly analogy, but here's what I think of: when I'm eating a juicy Maine lobster-- OK this is going to be a quick analogy or I'm going to get too hungry-- the shell seems exceptionally tough and strong. When I finally crack it and get to its meat, its sweet and juicy and feels like all of the effort was very much worth the work.

Should girls be kind up front? Of course. Is there ever a reason to be bitchy? Definitely not. But do girls, just like men, feel the need to protect themselves from potentially hurtful situations? Duh, of course.

So to all of my guy friends out here, this is my thinking-- you've gotta crack that lobster, baby. You've gotta work hard to get to the very core of that girl, the girl you truly believe is sweet on the inside, even if she displays a hard shell. We're all scared at times to take risks, but of course if we never do we'll never get where we really want to be in life.

But, girls, don't make the guy do all of the work. I know it's hard to believe, but not every man out there is out there to hurt us. In fact, many represent the very opposite: they dream of making our lives easier and more pleasant. We've just got to let them in-- with proper protection, of course! :)

XOXO,
R.