When the Worst is Really the Best

The idea of a first date is a scary one. I get it. No, really, I do. As one friend put it, she always feels like it’s a job interview, where the sole purpose is for the other person to pass judgments and decide if they deem you worthy enough of a second meeting. Legitimate concern—that I won’t argue—but really, what’s the worst that could happen?

I try to always remember that a first encounter can go one of three ways, none of which ultimately are all that horrific. Let me break it down as follows:

--Possibility A: It goes really well. Now when I say possibility, I sort of intend to imply in this particular case a “a rarity” or “unlikely event.” In either case, it happens that a first date can leave you wanting more, if not because of magical chemistry but because you simply enjoyed each other’s company. Don’t expect this outcome, but rather be pleasantly surprised when it does happen.

-- Possibility B: The date is FINE—not GREAT, but he didn’t insult you, offend you, or leave you drunk searching for a cab on a desolate street corner at 2am. This situation represents the WORST case scenario. Curious that it’s the worst, right? A neutral date leaves you without craving another get-together and with an uneasy feeling that you just wasted an hour of your time that could have been better spent, perhaps scrubbing strains off your stovetop or balancing your checkbook. Because both are things we really do regularly.

I guess the plus side is that at least if your heart isn’t fluttering when you gaze into his baby blues (OK, I even just grossed myself out) you’re one step closer to knowing what type of person you’re not looking for. The one way that you can turn around this less than ideal situation is if you can later develop a friendship. Believe it or not, that actually can and does happen.

--Possibility C: Your date is so bad that you want to leave faster than if you were stuck in a padded cell with Miley Cyrus playing on repeat. Remember Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? I think there’s something to be said about the title of this childhood tale: sometimes the concept transcends to the adult world and, even more specifically, the dating scene.

Maybe it’s as simple as your date telling you he doesn’t get very much action in the bedroom. It could be as unnerving and embarrassing as he gets arrested as you’re enjoying fine wine in a candlelit restaurant. (Both examples are drawn from true stories, I swear.)

Regardless, there are bound to be situations gone awry and sometimes, when we’re incredibly lucky, they actually make for the best dates. What more could a girl want on a Sunday morning than to share a multi-coursed brunch with girlfriends—accompanied by sidesplitting laughter as you recount the hilarity of your escapades? Isn’t it fun to be able to laugh, and I mean REALLY laugh, at the inappropriate and uncalled for behaviors of last night’s dinner partner?

After all, if a guy spends a date describing in detail his uncircumcised penis, at least you can smile knowing that you’ll never have to experience it firsthand or know if he washes under the flap.

XOXO,
R.