I’m the queen of being single. Really. I’ve definitely spent the majority of my life unattached. But, then again, if you count childhood, most people my age can say the same. Personally, though, I think I’ve had my fair share of being single, and when I am, it’s something that I’m usually OK with and have come to terms with. After all, being single can be a blast. It can be liberating to not have to report to anyone but yourself, to not have to worry about when you’ll be home so you can have dinner on someone else’s schedule.
Some people, though, don’t think of being single the way that I do. They think of it perhaps as being “alone,” that they have no companion with whom to share their life. Some girls equate singledom with failure: there must be something wrong with me that I can’t get a boyfriend! Even that weirdo girl who doesn’t shave her legs in my history class has a boyfriend. I shave and shower, so why don’t I!?
Obviously people can cope with their feelings of despair various ways. Some choose to actually be proactive, to put themselves out there, meet men, online date, go out more, you name it. And sometimes those tactics work.
Other times, though, people do what drives me absolutely insane: they lie. They tell their close friends that they’re “seeing someone” and tell acquaintances (or anyone who doesn’t know much about their daily routines) that they’re with someone who’s going to soon be popping the question with a five carat Harry Winston.
Sour singles, as I like to think of them, at times lie to exes and say they have a new person in their life. This occurrence can happen when, in reality, it’s evident that they’re still sitting home watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC at 9:00pm on Friday nights. (Please note that single or taken, that’s actually a fun way to spend a night!)
Maybe you’re thinking, alright, people lie. So what?
The “so what” is that lying becomes frightening when the liar actually begins to believe their fictitious stories. It goes without saying that this is a common phenomenon among all liars, that they start being unable to distinguish between real life and their creations. But, for some reason, I keep noticing this happening more and more with people I know and people they know, and their cousin’s friend’s sisters and their father’s best friend’s daughters.
More and more people, it seems, feel increasing pressure to be dating someone. So much pressure, I think, that it feels more acceptable to invent elaborate tales of their experiences with Mr. Perfect than to admit that they’re just not at the point where they’ve actually found him!
Well, listen up, ladies and gents. I’ve gotta tell you that whether or not you realize it, it’s much easier to get caught in your lies these days since the invention of what we call the internet. It becomes especially clear when you’re posting fifty photos per month on Facebook that you don’t have a boyfriend because he’s not in any of the photos. And you know that thing called Twitter? Yea, well, if you’re tweeting every hour on the hour about how you ate a banana for breakfast and took a bathroom break from that painfully boring meeting at work, it seems a little odd that you never once mention your boyfriend for the general public to read about, no?
And think your friends won’t see you hanging out on dating websites? Believe me, friends know. I’ve run into countless people I know on sites, as have most of my friends. So if your dear friend doesn’t notice that you’re chilling on Jdate for three hours at a time, not to worry: someone else will. And you will get caught. Liars always get caught.
Why am I bothering to write about this? And why do I write this with such passion and emotion? Because it makes me sad-- legitimately upset-- that people can’t just accept that there are periods of time where they WILL be single. Meanwhile, there’s no need to be upset about it, especially as it usually doesn’t reveal much about your character. We all go through those rough patches. (It’s different if you’re unable to ever score a date, but that’s a different story.)
Instead of lying to others and, most importantly, yourself, do me a favor. Embrace being single. Spend extra time with your friends and family. Go eat dinner alone in a restaurant from time to time and watch couples fighting so you’re reminded that it’s a joy to not be involved with that. Being single is nothing to be ashamed about-- if anything, it’s a fabulous excuse to be selfish and do the activities that YOU want to do all the time.
hmmmm- was this who we were talking BOUT THE OTHER NIGHT?? interesting stuff....
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