Consider this my official prediction: one day I'm going to be in trouble, and I mean big trouble, for too closely observing people in public. I'm not talking about a quick glance at that woman who's so thin her bones protrude, or sneaking a peek at that guy who's spitting chewing tobacco into an empty Pepsi bottle. (Really though, man, it's 2010, not 1910!)
No, I'm talking about staring. Really staring, gazing intently at someone's odd behavior or dress, sniffing their unusual scent (gross, right?) and eavesdropping on their cellphone conversations. I'd hesitate to say that I'm nosey-- even though I am-- but rather curious. Exceptionally curious. Like "Curious George was my role model growing up" curious.
Considering this is one of my most prominent personality traits, it makes my subway commute to and from work interesting and, yes, I'll say it, the best part of my day. Not only do I get to sit back and relax while someone ELSE drives me around, I get to encounter people from all walks of life that I otherwise don't bump into. What a better place than a major city for me to fulfill my thirst for observation?
Today in particular proved especially interesting on the subway. Actually, this week has been interesting in regards to transportation all around for me. Let me explain.
I hopped on the train at my normal stop, ready to do my daily reading on my Blackberry. After I finished a quick phone conversation, a flash of color in my peripheral vision caught my attention. Apparently I had sat next to a woman who sported a wild Hawaiian print silk shirt, dandruff covered black pants and a stretchy visor, the tacky kind only a grandmother wears. Sure, she was quite a piece of eye candy to a girl like me who's interested in the oddities of life, but really she didn't appear to be anything special.
It wasn't until I realized that my iPod was dead and that I'd have to rely on other forms of amusement that I noticed that she was reading. Reading to herself and aloud. Now what, you might ask, was so interesting about her reading? Everyone reads on the train to work, you might think.
She was reading erotic literature. Yep, right there, right next to me, a girl sitting close enough to see what she was reading. As she muttered to herself about how Clyde groped Charles so tenderly that Charles... ok, enough... I won't go further, my stomach sunk and I feared that I'd get sick all over her.
Before I knew it, this woman had finished reading her story. She was already at another webpage where she was selecting criteria in an erotic literature search engine so she could amuse herself with another story. Apparently her fetish is man-on-man first person POV. I'll admit that's way more than I'd ever want to know about someone I'm simply watching from a (slight) distance.
Anyway, I'm realizing that the more I seek out these unique people in my travels, the more that I find. Yesterday while being attacked by miserable humidity, I stepped into a frigid cab in order to go on an errand for work.
"Welcome to my cab," the cabbie exclaimed.
"Thanks," I responded.
"I hope you like the music that I've selected for you," he continued.
"Yes, it's fine, thank you," I said, further proceeding with my destination's address.
"I want to tell you about something that not everyone knows," he began, as I half-tuned him out. "The most important thing in this world is money. Money. The second most important thing is school. And everything after school and even INCLUDING school costs money!"
I attempted to tune him out, but realize the impossibility of this task as he asked me questions of opinion following each of his statements.
"But did you know," he questioned, "that the President of the United States of America will help you out with all of this money? Did you know that if you pick up any phone, dial zero, say 'Operator, I want to be connected to the President of The United States of America,' she'll put you through to a White House operator, operator number nine, and you can tell this person that you want to petition for the jubilee status. Do you know what the jubilee status is?"
"Um, no, sir, I don't know what the Jubilee Status is."
"Well 18 million people in Massachusetts are ahead of you! They already petitioned! And they're having all of their bills and college loans and rent paid for by President Obama! You can look it up! We're all entitled to it under The Constitution. Look it up, article 3C-L3!"
I couldn't wait to jump out of his car. Really, I almost considered having him pull over and letting me out early, only so I could brave a walk in the heat to get rid of this crazy man. But I made it safely to my destination (surprisingly, he was an incredibly safe driver) and forgot about him for a couple minutes. That is, until I made it back to my desk and decided to look up the article number that he had stated.
Nothing. Of course nothing. There's no such thing as Jubilee Status.
But what if, I thought, there really is something called the Jubilee Status in our country, and maybe I had just written down the numbers incorrectly? So of course, being the gullible and curious person that I am, I googled "Jubilee Status." To my disbelief, I came across a blog, similar to my own, where someone else had chronicled their adventures with brown cab #9. Not only that, but tons of people afterward commented on the post, relaying similar tales of this crazy man who they unexpectantly encountered on trips to the airport or City Hall. See http://tellhimfred.com/2008/01/11/welcome-to-crazy-town-population-your-cab-driver/#comment-24167 for the post and a more accurate description than I could ever give. (It's funny, I almost promise.)
So yes, this cab driver was insane. As one woman described him, he's "batshit crazy." That very well might be the case. But, nonetheless, he made my ride an adventure unlike any other I've ever had in this city. And the woman from this morning? Same thing. As weird and sick of an experience as that was, it entertained me and provided me with a conversation started at the very least. I think I'm learning to appreciate the nutty people in life and realize that, just like the woman's shirt, they bring a little color and spice to our lives.
XOXO,
R.
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