Shut up about your goddamn boyfriend already!

"You can't tell anyone this," my friend whispered to me in her dorm room, "but I don't really find my fiance to be all that attractive. I mean, I've grown to love him I guess, but he's not that good looking."

Yep, you read that right: "dorm room" and "fiance" were actually used in the same sentence purposefully. This was coming from a girl who, two years earlier, had broken up with a serious boyfriend and, during her mourning period, cried hysterically about how she would no longer have anyone to marry. Guess her fate changed. If nothing more, she certainly had worked for it, even if she was ending up with someone she deemed unattractive just for the sake of having someone to permanently call her own.

Regardless of her attraction, though, this friend never failed to boast about having a boyfriend, forget about her friends as he crept further into the picture or call him instead of walking with her peers between classes. And this situation--to say the least-- perfectly exemplifies why I can't stand most girls in relationships.

Before I go on, there are a few things that should be made clear. First of all, I don't hate all people in relationships, as I will expand upon further below. Furthermore, I still maintain this sentiment without care to my romantic situation; whether I'm madly in love or just starting to see someone or recovering from a bad breakup, my views towards couples still persevere.

There is nothing worse than hearing a girl incessantly refer to that man in her life as her "boyfriend." Ladies, I understand the importance of having a label on what you are. It solidifies what stands as the true situation, makes you comfortable that the party is only in your pants, and not some other girl's too. But really though, does your grandfatherly neighbor need to know that the guy who took out your trash is your boyfriend as opposed to your brother or friend or one-night-stand that you so horribly regret? Do you really think he cares?

I get it that you're happy or at least pretending to be. At the very least, you want others to think you're happy. That's all OK, but I think it's important to remember those around us who aren't. No one likes a girl who flaunts her couple-status in the faces of those kindhearted women who just simply haven't found Mr. Right yet. And just like with anything else, no one appreciates a bragger. Ever.

Even those who hate the bragging the most still might get jealous. The jealousy, in turn, adds a whole other dimension to the negative emotions simultaneously storming your psyche. Ultimately, this mixture of emotions can cause your friends to gravitate away from you, something we all want to avoid for obvious reasons.

There are times, though, when it seems like talking about a significant-other transitions from annoying and irritating to something observers can actually be happy about. I recently discussed this in the car with two girlfriends:

"I love hanging out with you guys," I said, exceptionally aware of the abrupt and blunt nature of my impending commentary. "And I'm not even jealous of you. I'm legitimately happy for you," I explained, referring to one of their relationships with a fiance, the other with a serious boyfriend.

"Yea, you know why that is?" one shot back. "Because you know that the two of us have both been through hell and back with the number of bad men we dated before we found these."

I immediately recognized the validity of her statement-- both girls had experienced the worst of the worst dating sagas. They were painstakingly aware of how hard our wild world makes it to find someone who cares for them who is also attractive and fun and loving and smart and sweet.

It's much easier to feel legitimate happiness towards a truly loving couple who struggled to find each other over years and years of dating, versus those who simply yearned to find significant others for the sake of a title. Point of the story–- it's a lot easier to respect girls who have had a little taste of every type of man before they meet their perfect one. And NO, I don't mean that in the literal sense, you pervs!

XOXO,
R.